It is sickening, to think that in today’s world, that our elder citizens, are being forced to resort to legal seperation, or divorce, in order to afford living in a nursing home. I find this whole concept to be ass backwards. I really don’t get why, we, as a civilized nations, are so determined to make life a living hell for the elderly.

I know the so called Conservative Approach is that people need to take care of themselves, to look for their own remedies for the future, and not rely on the Government to help them out. A truly interesting theory, but which also assumes that business, would price their goods, services, at a reasonable level, to make a fair return, as well as to maintain a certain quality or standard.  THAT CERTAINLY IS NOT THE CASE TODAY.

As more people enter nursing homes, Veronica Ratchford, a representative from the Coalition for Seniors and Nursing Home Residents’ Rights, said an increasing number of couples are legally splitting up so they can get government help with the cost of that care. ( source – CBC News )

What is so odd, is that we expect people to be able to take care of themselves, plan for their old age, then do everything we can, to deny them that ability. We import foreign workers, to make it hard to get a decent high paying job, we gut education, so we have less qualified skill people, and we raise the cost of living, to make it nearly impossible for anyone to save for that future old age.    AND THEN WE REFUSE TO HELP THEM COVER THE COSTS, IF THEY ARE MARRIED.

Seems to me, something is out of whack here. I know it takes my income, and David’s income, to allow us to live together, as a family, which include my 92 year old mother. Neither I nor David make huge amounts of cash, even though David earns a decent salary. And yet it is a struggle, to pay the cost of medications, the ancillary costs like depends, rubber gloves.

Perhaps we need to start looking at WHY the costs for Nursing Home Care is so high, and yet the complaints about the standards seem never ending. Perhaps we should be examing the real cost of Health Care, instead of off loading it onto the Provinces, or cutting it back.  Maybe it is time to take a real look at how we are spending our money, and to whom.

It might become boring, but I think I am on a personal crusade, in regards to health care.

There are many who believe in Private Health versus National Health, versus Univeral Health. And there is a difference between National & Univeral Care, in case you were wondering.

Why?

I suppose the simplest answer is, that I am now 54 years old, and mother is 92 years old. And HER health is not getting better, so my inter action with our health services is growing. In other words, I am not a Doctor, nor a Nurse, and my involvement with our Health Care is from the perspecitive of one using it. 

Maybe that makes a difference, maybe not. The point is, at some point in everyone’s life, they are going to need health care. If you are young, just starting out, you may not think you will, but rest assured, YOU WILL.

For example did you know that Canada is ranked  THIRTY (30) in the world, and the giant to the south of us, the United States is ranked THIRTY SEVEN (37) ? ( source )

After spending some time just yesterday, in our emergency care system, I can honestly tell you, that growing old, is not something our health services knows how to deal with. And let us be honest, WE ARE ALL GOING TO REACH THAT STAGE OF LIFE.  The point is, we do not treat our Seniors with respect, with dignity. We treat them, and most other patients, BY THE NUMBERS.

To me, that somehow seems wrong.

I can honestly understand why most people do not want the responsibility for looking after their parents when they get older. Your life does change a lot, and it does intrude into your own relationships, and yes, in work as well. I know it has for me, and I also know, it is not going to better in the near future.

Mom is 91 years old, and since Monday I have had to re-adjust my entire work schedule, which I already adjusted to be able to look after her. I mean I work from home, because someone has to be here, even though she was pretty self reliant. I mean she could dress herself, get her own breakfast, and all that, but there were the odd mishaps, the odd little fall. Then too, there is the house keeping, and well, years ago I made the choice, to stay with her, to provide the necessary support for her and Dad.

When Dad passed away, things changed a bit, but not much. David & I still had our own lives, and the time needed to be a care giver wasn’t all that much. I mean when she wasn’t feeling good, sure it meant a bit more time but those weren’t lengthy times. Still, it made it easier for her, to make sure the pills were ordered, to make sure she had her blood tests done, and all that stuff.

Yet now, things are changing. She is having trouble just getting out of a chair, though she can still manage to dress herself. Breakfast is now once more my obligation, to make sure she eats. Lunch and dinner are also up to me, and yes it does intrude into the work schedule. I mean it isn’t easy to just drop what you are doing because you need to go fix lunch, but then, who else is going to do it?

It isn’t like we can afford to hire someone for it, though the Government is gracious enough to give tax credits if we do, but you know, you have to earn the money first, and have earned enough to where a tax cut or credit, can be useful. And that rather ticks me off, because I am paying taxes on what I earn, but can’t take any deductions for working from home. See if I am a care giver, for a stranger, I can claim some things, but if it is for a relative, well tough luck. Now that seems wrong to me, but those are the rules today, so nothing I can do about that.

I am not going to stop looking after Mom, because it is economically hard, or even mentally hard, which it is. I mean that is perhaps the greatest problem one has to cope with, when being a care giver for a parent. The stress is unreal, tough at the time you don’t really notice it, until the day is winding down. It makes it hard to get up in the morning, and makes you not want to go to sleep too. It is a vicious circle, but then, for me it would be worse if I passed it off, or put her in a home. Again that would be if I could afford one.

What sucks is knowing that no matter what you do, the end result will still be coming. Oh you might put if off, delay it, but let’s be honest, death is going to come. I am not looking forward to that, even though in a sort of dispassionate part of my mind, it says it is inevitable, and perhaps would be best. I don’t know, as I do believe in God and in Heaven, but still, maybe it is just that I am selfish, and don’t want to see her go. Maybe it is being naive, but when she has trouble getting up off the couch, to go to the bathroom, it is like you get a feeling of anger, wanting her to fight more, to fight harder, when really, you know she is, but her body is failing.

Ninety one years old, the body isn’t what it used to be, still we expect it to be. I know I do, and maybe that anger is really just fear showing. I don’t like to think about death, about not having her around, because we are close, we do love each other. It isn’t words, but you feel it. I know when I see her take nearly a half hour to walk from the couch to her bedroom, it hurts inside, it brings tears to the eyes, because it really isn’t that far. Yet you can see her fighting, for each step, refusing to give in, yet her body resists. I don’t know, not even sure why I am writing this, but I wonder what it is like, to die?

What is it like to be her age, knowing you may not have many more left, or even wondering if there is a heaven, or thinking about what is left to do? So many questions, and so little time, you wonder what goes through the mind, at that age? Then too I wonder, is she okay, does she feel I have done enough, not enough? I wonder if there is something else I should be doing, for her, or not? Am I making her last moments pleasent, or am I making them more painful? What else can be done, if anything?

This is a daily if not hourly, though process, that makes me wonder how can I get up in the morning, or how can I go to sleep tonight. What will tomorrow bring, what crisis will happen? Who is there to discuss it with, or talk it over with? Can one even begin to fathom the emotional upheaval that is going on 24 hours a day, or is it really ordinary? Am I maybe thinking too much, not enough?

This is what a care giver thinks, what I go through every day, and still the stories I write get written, even if it takes me longer. This is the stress that lurks, constantly a companion, until who knows when, and yet if I had my choice, if it was up to me, I’d want this to go on for eternity. I don’t want to lose mom, not now, not tomorrow, not next month,  next year, or hell, next decade even. Naive, wishful thinking, but it is the truth. As hard as this is, and believe me it is, I know I don’t want it to end, to change. I know too, it won’t get easier, it will only increase, and you know, I don’t care. So what if I have to get up at 8am and stay upstairs, work on my laptop instead of desktop, so what if it means I have to be inconveniened?

After all, she is my mother. Surely that alone makes it worth it.  Does for me.

Jack Layton & Stephen Harper both unveiled their plans to help our Seniors, and frankly it is a bit of nonsense, least from Harper. While Layton’s plan appears to be more in touch with reality, the issue of Senior Care seems forgotten by all of the political parties.

I look after my 91 year old Mother, and I think I have first hand experience in this. Perhaps the Leaders would like to realize just how important it is to not just talk about it, but to actually do something about it. Health Care for Seniors is not where it should be, nor is the Economic Support either.

Harper is once more reaching into his bag of TAX CUTS, by adding a $1000 to their exemption on income, which is nice, if you are old, over 65, and if you have income coming in outside of your OAP or GIS. Course it does absolutely NOTHING for the majority of Seniors who are relying on just those Income Supplements.

Speaking from a seniors’ residence in Trois-Rivieres, Que., Harper said the Conservatives — if re-elected in Oct. 14 election — would increase the amount of income that seniors can claim tax free under the senior age credit by $1,000 (source – CBC News)

While for those who have additional sources of income, when they are older, the costs for them have risen. And let us be honest, most who do, aren’t rolling in the dough, even with those additional sources of income. The cost of property taxes eats away nicely at that, if they happen to be lucky enough to own their own homes. And that certainly doesn’t cover the cost of living in a Retirement Residence either, should they need constant care.

If you want to know how tough it is, simply look at your own income versus expenses. You have a job, earn decent money, but how are you coping with the high cost of food? How about getting around to shop, finding gas prices pinching the number of trips you make? How’s the cost of your Electric or Heating Bill? Finding it a big hard to balance with the cost of groceries? Now imagine earning half of what you do, and are in your Eighties.

That is what Seniors are being forced to cope with. Rising prices at every turn, and then you can factor in their health too. The cost of medication which most of us average folks don’t need. My Mother for example requires seven different medications daily, and they aren’t cheap, even with Pharmacare Coverage. She still has to fork out money and she doesn’t have any outside income.

So much for gaining any benefit from Stephen Harper’s Tax Cut for Seniors.

Now, Jack Layton, he’s proposing a BILLION DOLLAR INCREASE in Senior Care funding. According to the NDP Party, this will allow about 100,000 Seniors to be cared for in their own home.

Less than an hour later in Winnipeg, Layton advocated a $1-billion home-care program for seniors, saying “Stephen Harper has let down many Canadian families.”

He said an NDP government would provide funding to allow 100,000 more seniors to be cared for in their homes instead of institutions. (source – CBC News)

Harper’s plan claims that it will allow seniors to have an income of about $18,000 that isn’t taxed. Now I don’t know, but you want to try and live on that with all the added expenses a Senior faces? How about one who owns their own home, who has to pay property taxes, rising energy bills, and food. Then medications have to be factored in, as does health care costs. Like having someone come in to clean for you, because not so easy to get down on those knees and scrub the floor when you are Eighty.

The real difference here is that the NDP Party are approaching this from a different angle. They are looking at ways to provide HELP to the Seniors, while all Harper is doing is to offer ‘Tax Cuts‘. They aren’t coming up with any solutions to help them pay for added fuel, increased medication, or associated health care costs.

By the way, have you seen the prices for something as simple as a walker? How are low income Seniors supposed to afford them? Then too things like toilet supports, that have sturdy arms on either side, so a Senior can ease themself up and down onto the toilet? Those things aren’t cheap either, in fact a few hundred bucks or more, for some pretty flimsy looking stuff.

How does a tax cut help the senior pay for that?

Stephen Harper himself, even says his plan isn’t going to help low income Seniors. Course not in those words, instead he touts how generous his Government is to low income Seniors, because his tailored made plan will actually save them about $150 a year.

Harper said his party’s proposal would save low-income seniors about $150 a year each, while costing the federal government $400 million annually. (source – CBC News)

Public Transportation costs have risen, cost of pills is higher, so that $150 savings, how far do you think it will go? What is worse, is that Harper is proud of that, proud that he is going to give low income Seniors a whopping extra $150 a year.  That is TWELVE DOLLARS & FIFTY CENTS A MONTH.

Here is a good example of just how useless Stephen Harper’s plan is. Mother is 91, her ability to get around is becoming harder with each passing day. Our Doctor recently retired, and we have been looking for another one. One of the important requirements is to find one who makes house calls. That really has narrowed the field down, but there are a couple, but they have a surcharge for their services, because they can.

The cost is about an extra $1500 a year.  So Stephen Harper, how is my mother going to afford that, on your extra $150 a year tax savings?  What if she didn’t have a son and son in law, to help defray that cost for her?  WHO WOULD PAY FOR IT?

IT would mean going to a home, and she wouldn’t survive there for long. At least at home, she can retain some dignity, some privacy, some reason to go on living. Your tax cut would end that, would end her life, assuming she even could get into some managed seniors home, because there simply aren’t any rooms open for low income Seniors.

Got a good tasteless joke for that one Stephen Harper?