To Be Gay


“I don’t speak for all gay people, only for myself.

I am your brother, your best friend, your roommate, and your date…but I hide it from you. You make me.

Try to understand what I am feeling.


To be condemned by most churches as sinful,

Some health professionals as pathological and curable, by some laws as criminal.

It’s to live two separate lives, never being able to be completely honest in either.

It’s listening to your fellow human beings talking about queers and making jokes about effeminate males and athletic looking females.

As you stand there, knowing they would say the same thing about you.

It’s to go along with the men as they watch women when you would rather watch people of your own gender.

It’s to awaken every morning, live every day, and go to sleep every night fearing discovery and/or rejection by your family, friends and co-workers.

It’s dating people of the opposite gender when you really don’t want to, just to maintain a cover.

It’s pretending to be ignorant about homosexuality and quietly listening to your straight friends displaying their ignorance, while you dare not correct them.

It’s meeting someone you really like but are too afraid to find out if they’re gay because they’re wearing the same mask as you.

It’s going to a public place with your significant other and never being able to display any affection to each other.

It’s being taught to hate yourself knowing that you cannot change, knowing you can never share that wonderful feeling of being in love, with your family and most of your friends.

Now, isn’t this totally unfair? Then again, people seem to believe all of life is anyway.

I am 18 and I have no choice but to live my “so-called life” like this.

One day I will try to change this,

I promise…”