Being Old Has to Suck

Living With Mother

Our old doctor kept saying, as you get older, things don’t work as well, which was really annoying. I mean yes, Mom is 91 years old, but still, complaints can’t just be tossed off as, ‘well as we get older’ which was his standard answer. The new Doctor on the other hand, seems a bit more pragmatic, and at least, listens. Though time will tell how good he is.

Yet I wonder, at what goes on in the mind of someone who is Mom’s age?

Like this afternoon, we got her to soak her feet in one of those foot bath thingees. David picked one up on sale, which he was using, and it has the jets and all, so she soaked her feet. Thing is, not for very long as the water had cooled off.

Yet, she didn’t seem to want to have it changed, or hot water added, and it wasn’t easy to lift her feet up over the few inches of just that little unit. It makes me wonder, if her muscles are growing too weak, or is it more of a mental thing? Is her mind not getting the signals right?

I told her to lift her foot up, so she started to sit up, to get up off the couch, which makes me wonder if she’s even understanding things. I mean yes, she’s 91, but these odd little oddities are rather perplexing, and worrisome too. I mean I know, the day is coming, but I am selfish, I don’t want it to be anytime soon. I’d rather like to have her around to celebrate her One Hundredth birthday.

All difficult to cope with, and I think too, it is why many kids of elder parents simply put them into a home, or hire someone to look after them. I just can’t see that for Mom, nor do I think she’d be too thrilled about it. Despite the fact that she worries she’s a burden, still doing something like that would be just wrong. Least in my mind, and hers too. I doubt she’d survive for long in that kind of situation.

It is tough too, on just me, but David as well.

I can’t get out as much, because she worries too much, is unsteady on her feet, which makes me worry too. So in a sense I have become housebound with her. Yet, there are ways to help it along, such as by having a laptop computer. With that, I can actually spend more time upstairs, and still do my work, and yep, even natter here on this site. Which is why I didn’t hesitate in grabbing a rather nice one from London Drugs the other day.

Also got a nice little portable table for it, a mouse and so I am set. Now all I need to do is figure out Windows Vista and hey, I am all set.

Sometimes it seems like a real chore, but then I think about how she sacrificed a lot, to make a home for me when I was a kid. How she was there every time I came home from school, when she could have been doing other things. No Bridge Club or Mahjong, or any of that stuff, because she felt it necessary to be there, when I cam home. So why shouldn’t I be there for her now? I mean she had to feel tied down too, and she was a lot younger then.

I don’t know if her being there, made a huge difference in who I am now, that is for others to decide I guess. What I do know, is that I owe her, and if I have done okay, it is because she was there. She was there to help with the homework, to be a part of my life, even when things sucked big time. There was no isolation, none of that, ‘later son‘ stuff that is so common today, so I wonder, have we forgotten that?

I know, it isn’t easy to survive today, what with the Economy, the cost of everything, but which is more important? Having a big house, fancy cars, or spending time with your kids, being involved in their life?

Ian @ August 10, 2008