Three Years Today…

General Chit Chat

I wonder how many ‘married‘ couples actually take a step backwards, and look at how things are once they have been married a few years? Do they stand outside and look at all that has gone on, the fights, the disagreements, the making up? Do they even think of those things or is it just another day?

Today, David and I have been married, legally, for 3 years. We have been together for 11 and half years, as a couple, but you know, that wee piece of paper does make a difference. Not just in the material end of things, but in the mental, spiritual sense too. Maybe it is because for so long, Marriage between two males was unobtainable, that it means more to us, than to heterosexual couples. After all, it has never been an issue for them, never had to be won or fought for, as it has been for Homosexuals, so maybe its meaning is a bit less?

Not like I know how they feel, and maybe to them it is just as important, to think about all that has gone on in their brief time together, legally. I know for me it just seems to be more important as time goes on, mean a bit more than it did the day before. Not like I sit back and think about it every day, but on days like today, I sort of do. I think about the wedding, about how people reacted when we told them about it. It still feels a bit giddy, to think of standing there, listening to the Rabbi, knowing it was all legal, blessed not just by GOD, but that it was LEGAL TOO.

Standing in the cash line at the grocery store, having his head on my shoulder and not feeling self conscious is one thing, but to go out shopping for gifts, and feel comfortable enough to tell the sales girl it is a gift for your wife, and then call him David, is just something I never would do before we got married. I don’t know if it is because that piece of paper gives us any protection, or maybe it does?

I mean think about it. Before it was legal, there was the fear that if someone objected, you were basically on your own. Oh, I know, the Police would investigate, and hell, maybe even charge someone, but you just never were certain. Yet it all changed with that little piece of paper, because I think that deep down inside, it sort of says that no matter what happens, the Government ACCEPTS US, and WILL PROTECT US. That even while some people MIGHT NOT, our Country, as a whole, DOES. And perhaps that does make a difference in how we go out and live.
Even with a homophobic government, like we have now with Stephen Harper, that piece of paper makes even that seem unimportant. IT IS A FACT, WE ARE LEGAL, and sure, I suppose there are those who still hate us, who still fear us and loathe us even, but somehow, being legal seems to blunt that fear of them. It makes their name calling, their anger even, seem so trivial, so ineffective, that it just doesn’t matter.

I wonder if that is how heterosexuals feel when they sit back, reflect on their marriage? I wonder too, do those who CAN’T BE LEGAL, do they miss that protection, that ACCEPTANCE? I think so, and maybe that is why I fail to understand how any politician, Canadian or American, can refuse to support same sex marriage. It really isn’t about some GOD ISSUE, but then again maybe it is, just not in the way they think? Maybe it is a GOD THING, because having that legality, that piece of paper, does effect one’s spirit, one soul.

Ian @ January 21, 2008